1130 Pine Street, Paso Robles, CA 93446
September 13, 2018

Comical Craftiwork

By Hellie Blythe

Comical Craftiwork

Hellie was born with a sliver paintbrush in her hand, soon graduating to a mural brush, painting sets for Pioneer Players’ Stage Productions. At seventy, she became a violinist, delighting her family with recitals of “Happy Birthday” in Japanese. Inspired by foreign artists, she spent several seasons painting en plein air in France, escaping her glassblowing addiction. Lately, Hellie has enjoyed being with her fellow artists at Studios on the Park, where her creations are displayed.


Years ago I learned a lesson:
Not all oils are made by Wesson
Olive oil, though sometimes bitter,
Subs for butter and leaves us fitter.
But, if I wish to paint with oil,
Linseed’s best, and doesn’t spoil.
When I add it to my paint,
(And, doing so without restraint),
It will make the mixture runny,
Pothead portraits might look funny.
Paint that seeks a lower level
Tends to be friend or ‘tis the devil!
Portraits done by Francis Bacon
Were so weird they left us shaken.
When his oil faces slid,
An eye fell south without its lid!
Mixing too much oil with pigment
Makes the form a slippery figment,
But keeping mixtures a smidgen thicker
Lets us recognize objects quicker
Who needs those chins upon the floor?
Or drooping noses, ears, and more?
To answer that, without ado,
The simple fact is this: I do
For instance: painting the humble fish,
Under the water, or on a dish,
I find he appears artistically better
Wearing a shrunken woolen sweater,
I’d give him some wavy human hair,
Depict him in lacy under ware,
Build him lidded, glowing eyes;
Cauliflower ears to complete the disguise.
Art ages dawn with new-found gimmicks
We artists are only a bunch of mimics
Of what is seen, or thought, or heard
And I prefer to keep it absurd.


I’m thankful for all you cigar smokers,
And for world-wide Pistachio Brokers,
And Basketball Teams whose championship means
A display case to belay finger-pokers.

Cigar boxes are excellent stages
For professions that’re often outrageous.
Professional Swells made from pistachio shells
Protected by basketball cages.

My paintings are born from my doodles,
Whether Potheads or Cinnamon Streusels,
From a place upstairs in my noodle,
That sorts the whole kit and caboodle.

To put pots on heads is a breeze,
Far easier than portraying Trees!
Painting outdoors can result in bad sores,
From sun, rain, mosquitoes, and freeze.

I paint in my studio, Friends,
In spite of some popular trends.
When you’re an artist, it’s certainly smartest
To practice those skills away from the hills
Stay inside, as this artist recommends!

Rembrandt spent years with his brushes,
Indoors, not out in bulrushes.
He practiced his skills far from the hills.
(Inside, near a toilet that flushes)
Painting people who never showed blushes.


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